Learning From Rejection

Being rejected is something that most of us take very personally. Let’s face it, when someone says “no, you didn’t get the job” or “no, I don’t want to go out with you”, it hurts! Not to mention the blow to our egos.

Interestingly enough, in most cases it’s not the actual rejection itself that causes us to freeze; it’s the fear of failure. The very thought that someone could turn us down, thereby failing, is often cause enough to not even try.

If you’ve ever found yourself unable to do something you really want to do such as asking that good looking guy or gal out, taking up a new sport, losing weight or quitting smoking because you’re afraid of failure, you’re letting your fear rule your life. And that fear is preventing you from attempting to do anything different. You’re scaring yourself into a rut.

You’re an adult; you can take care of yourself. So the first thing you need to do is stop scaring yourself! You need to gain control of all the thoughts and emotions that cause you to fear rejection. What you need is a mental pep talk.

Often our fear of failure and rejection is rooted in how others see us, and our reaction to their perception of us. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care what people think, but if you let what others think of you rule your life you’re setting yourself up for failure. Being slightly immune and developing a thicker skin, so to speak, you’ll be less likely to let fear of rejection interfere with your life.

How do you handle rejection? Do you get angry at those who love you, do you cry in frustration, maybe even sulk? It’s time for an attitude adjustment. Think of rejection as a form of constructive criticism. If you keep hearing the same things over and over, there just might be a kernel of truth in there. At the very least it’ll help you figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Give yourself credit for trying! Even if you do get turned down for that date, or that job, give yourself a pat on the back for trying. Success in general is never achieved without trying.

You will always experience rejection in one form or another. That’s just the way life is. Fortunately, you now have the tools to cope with it.